Confessions of a neurotic mother...or am I just a bit of a perfectionist?

I keep saying to myself that my mom didn't go through this for me. I consider my mother one of the best mothers of all time, however, I continually think about the fact that things were different back then. Yes, you hear that all of the time, I know, but I can't help but to think it is true.

It is my belief that today's mothers are faced with pressure and choices more frequently than our mothers. Why do I think this? Our mothers did not have the Internet to deal with. They didn't have to check e-mails daily in addition to child rearing. Pressure was not placed on them to blog every little milestone of their pregnancy with photos and links. I find myself getting a little jittery and itchy when I'm sent a blog like this because I did not do one for my son. Then, irrationally I begin to think that I'm not as great of a mom because I didn't not blog my child's conception through child birth. Hell, my mother didn't bother to finish my baby book and till this day she laughs it off, "Ha ha ha, you were the third one. If you couldn't get up and get your own bottle you went thirsty."

She has unknowingly scarred me due to an unfinished baby book. I find myself obsessing to be sure that every nook and cranny of his baby book is complete! I do not want my son to have an unfinished baby book. This has sent me into a frenzy of scrap booking and photo sessions to be recorded and reminisced for years to come.

Did my mother send out Christmas cards depicting a studio portrait of us? Umm no, she didn't even get to the sending part. Ironically though I am reminded at each holiday, by my mother, to be sure his picture is taken and that his outfit is perfect.

Does she have any idea what it was like for me to find the perfect p.j.'s for this picture, and a snowy enough snow globe? Oh, and did I mention that I brought our 6 lb. Chihuahua, Lola, to this photo shoot. I'm sure you are so surprised to find that she did not cooperate and therefore is not pictured here. Did I really think that she would look into the snow globe at the same time my 19mth old would? Even if Christian stuck a soggy half eaten Ritz cracker to the side of the globe?

Life sometimes becomes burdened so quickly that you can't help but get caught up in it all. I do know that at the end of the day, what keeps me sane, is knowing that I have something so precious and so amazing. No matter how many great tasks I accomplish... I am still loved unconditionally, clinged to in scary moments, and kissed upon asking, by my angel, my son.