Wednesday, April 7, 2010

She's Gone

It has been 2 1/2 weeks now since I lost my mom. I still really cannot believe it but at times I can. To say I miss her dearly is an understatement. Thoughts of her fill my mind through out the day, every day. Tonight, when I was giving my son a shower all I could think of was her. So badly, I wanted to tell her all about what a stinker he is in the shower. I know she would laugh and enjoy hearing all about him as she seemed to even more in the last months of her life. This ache in my heart still hurts badly and I look forward to the day when this ache is replaced with a peace when thinking of her. I find myself wanting to talk about her constantly but as grieving goes you find others tire of hearing about her. I'm doing better than I ever thought I could or would but I miss her so badly. How I wish she would be there to gift me with her wonderful advice that I so treasured when this new baby of mine is born. If I could just hold her hand again... all I can hope for now is to go to sleep and dream of her.