Wednesday, April 7, 2010

She's Gone

It has been 2 1/2 weeks now since I lost my mom. I still really cannot believe it but at times I can. To say I miss her dearly is an understatement. Thoughts of her fill my mind through out the day, every day. Tonight, when I was giving my son a shower all I could think of was her. So badly, I wanted to tell her all about what a stinker he is in the shower. I know she would laugh and enjoy hearing all about him as she seemed to even more in the last months of her life. This ache in my heart still hurts badly and I look forward to the day when this ache is replaced with a peace when thinking of her. I find myself wanting to talk about her constantly but as grieving goes you find others tire of hearing about her. I'm doing better than I ever thought I could or would but I miss her so badly. How I wish she would be there to gift me with her wonderful advice that I so treasured when this new baby of mine is born. If I could just hold her hand again... all I can hope for now is to go to sleep and dream of her.


Alison Gibbs said...

It is such a tough time for you. I was 33 when I lost my mother. It is something that is so difficult for girls to do. It is like losing part of you. You go to pick up the phone to call them, you say I will have to tell mom that one and then you remember you can't. My thoughts are with you at this time
Take care

Maija said...

I am so sorry for your loss...I know how horrible and unsettling it is- my mom died 2 1/2 years ago.

Pamela Jane said...

My mother died in my early 40's, just after the birth of my last child. Never is it easy, no matter the circumstances. Just remember how much joy you take in being a mother -- and that she enjoyed the same privilege.