loved ones lost

Have you ever wondered if loved ones that have gone before us try to speak to us? Maybe it's through a whisper in the wind or a note carried on the wind to a tune in bag pipes on a gloriously cool spring evening. I believe they do and they never stop loving us.

Coming up on 8 yrs together

My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate 8 yrs of marriage this October 19th. My goodness so much as happened in this time. I look at this picture of a 24 yr old girl and think, "who is this?"
I certainly don't identify with her frivolous spending habits on herself or her ability to sleep in past 11 am on a weekend. This is a girl long gone by now and instead has been replaced with a fretful mother that hovers over her two small sons to keep them from harms way. A mother like most mothers that does everything first for her children and then herself. I sometimes miss the freedom this girl had but in between the chaos of life from picking up my son's trains and changing dirty diapers there is happiness. A crazy happiness that only a mother knows.

a journal entry

I found a journal entry that I particularly like from a while back. It reminds me of how far I have come in my grief. Never did I think it was possible for me to live without my mother. What is so amazing, is that I have, and I am doing so well.
Before I leave you with the entry I would like to share something. My mother kept telling me that I would trip over her when she was gone. She would be everywhere. She is. The other day I was walking into Church with my boys when crazy gusts of wind came out of the middle of nowhere! At least two people near me remarked about it and how it would be such a great kite flying day. Kites are something related to my mother. That's a story for another time. Then, as fast as the wind came, it was gone. While in Church, I was alone with a 4 month old and a 4 yr old. It was rough and I was handling it pretty well. Colin was screaming and Christian was fine so I had to keep walking around a bit. Near the end, this woman behind me, an older woman, tapped on my shoulder. I thought, "Oh great, she is going to tell me what a pain, we are, or that Christian needs to stop looking through all of his books, etc..."
She instead leans into my ear and says, "You are SUCH a good mother." I was blown away. For me, that is the best compliment in the world. Ever since my mother passed away, I have strived even harder than before to be an incredible mother. It wasn't until I got home that I put it all together. Magic isn't necessary. Signs can be subtle. This was my sign, from my mother, telling me somehow, inspiring this woman to tell me that I am doing a good job. That was all I needed.

Feb. 6, 2010

Every day I wake with a lump in my throat which is the ache from my heart. I look out and see the sun and his swing set and think of spring. Then, the lump gets bigger because I know she most likely won't be here.

a picture of my mother a week or so before she died...

1st Day of Preschool

So, today was his first day as a greendbird at preschool and I was super excited. I even had my husband paint the trim and wash the front door for our pictures this morning. Of course, his outfit was already last night and he could give a hoot what he wears so at least that is easy. His favorite part of the day? Saving the creams? as a superhero with the other boys.






This was meet the teacher on Friday, before school, and she is so sweet! I love her already...



And last, among other firsts, Colin tried baby food over the past week or so but today, he actually seemed to like it. Sweet Potatoes!

Cupcake

I just made this cute little cupcake for my cousin's daughter, Jillian, who is turning one. She had a cupcake themed party that I cannot wait to see! I also bought a little princess puzzle and sparkly knit hair bands, not pictured to go with. Then, I dazzled up a pete pot, (bought a ton of them on ebay awhile back), and tried my hardest to make it look like a cupcake inside the pot. I hope she loved it. I also handsewed the little fringe on the end of her sleeves. I do hope it fit and that Kari, her mommy, loved it.

A Little Sweetness Blog giveaway

I was so lucky to stumble upon this blog a month or so ago and I check in on it often. A Little Sweetness is this wonderfully adorable and inspirational blog hosted by Tasha. She too has an Etsy shop full of wonderful things. Hurry over because she is hosting a blog giveway with some of her new paper items...

Brothers

When I think of the word brothers, I smile, and a song comes to mind from my FAVORITE childhood Christmas movie, Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas, "Brothers." Below is a picture of my little otters that I took recently in Colin's nursery. Christian is so fond of his little brother and so gentle with him. Again, the lighting is not so great because I can't keep my shutter speed up with these fast moving otters without a total blur.





Ofcourse, the proud mother that I am, I just had to share these pics of Stink Bone since he was so good. Well, I did promise him a new toy from the Tractor Supply store. He just has that look in one of these pics like hmmmmm.... I think I might be good so I can get a new tractor toy.